jukin on the synth low

music: Psychedelic Furs: talk talk talk The new Dresden Dolls album is quite remarkable for a major label, and surely their opening for Nine Inch Nails on the recent tour dedicated to the theme of fellatio has given them an added boost. Equal parts cabaret music, Nellie McKay, and the tortured femi-goth anger of Switchblade Symphony, the debut album is a delightful moody masterpiece. While certainly cliché (the toy piano riffs are sometimes tiresome) and at times predictable, the album also has bursts of uniqueness that are inspired. I would recommend finding and sampling the track "Half Jack," which is the best song on the album; like all good songs upon the first listen, it gave me goose bumps.

I've also been really getting my synthpop groove on recently (helps while away the time while packing), and I lament the fact that only Europeans seem to like it these days; why bands like De/Vision have never charted in the United States is a mystery, especially since we're being bombarded by "new 80s" sound of bands like The Killers and Bloc Party. There is, in fact, an amazing U.S. synth band that puts out some pretty great records: Iris. They're slated to release a much anticipated follow-up to their 2003 album, Wrath, in late August. Here's the best part, though: they're based in Austin, Texas! How cool is that? A great synthpop band in my hometown . . . .

I say that the relatively popular disinterest in synthpop stateside is a mystery, but the more one thinks about it less in terms of the sound of the music (which is groovy) and more about what it "represents," it becomes less mysterious: it's about norms of American middle class masculinity. Even if you're a hair-in-the-face new mod, you're not allowed to like synthpop unless it has a guitar in it or something guitar like, and only if the vocalist has "punk" (read, masculine) leanings (e.g., The Faint). Best friends hold hands in many European cities, regardless of sex; you'd be hard-pressed to find that in the U.S., of course. Synthpop, in other words, is a victim of homophobia. "Real men don't listen to Erasure", you know. And boys don't cry, neither.

And in the key of crying, Terry McMillan was on The Today Show dissin' her soon-to-be 30 year old ex-husband for coming out of the closet. This was preceded by a special "episode" of Oprah about "living on the down low," a phrase that once circulated among the African American community (but now everywhere) that refers to self-identified straight black men who sleep with other black men (some dude has written an an entire book about this, as if its news or something). McMillan is claiming her once 23 year old suitor was "gay all along" and manipulated her for money. He says he was confused about his sexuality and that McMillan is a homophobe. I say they both right and both mistaken: sure, he was confused and yeah, he used her for money. But the underlying premise here is that somehow sexuality and the expression of desire is static. Identity is static and oppressive and confining, and perhaps he secretly knew he loved the cock all along, but to say when these two where groovin' on the floor there wasn't some chemistry is stupid. Didn't Kinsey clear this up decades ago? Didn't Kurt Cobain summarize it best?

Well, in the midst of this battle over the back door I've developed a new phrase for straight and bisexual men who secretly love synthpop: "jukin' on the synth low." This phrase refers to all the men out there, many of whom I have met, who will dance to Duran Duran or even Erasure if they've had a few beers. Perhaps I'll see y'all who are jukin' on the synth low TONIGHT AT THE DURAN DURAN CONCERT IN NEW ORLEANS!?!?!?! I'm so excited I have to pee . . . .